My Nieces and Nephews

I can't think of everything all at once, so I'll update this as I remember and as things come up.


"Sno Vite vants something to draink." - E
"She think she's soo popularity."  - L
"Look at me and my popular hair." - L
"You can call me Sweetie.  Just don't call me Sweetner."  -S
"I'm sure he makes his mother proud" -A
"I'm allergic to penicillin!"
"Remember when Ruby was big at night and was small in the morning." - S
"What's a porn shop." -A
"Granny's a Pole Dancer." - A
"Allie Marina" - S
"Aunt Kelly is The Beast Aunt." - Al
"Thank you for the spac tac u lar outfit"

Funny Things My Family Will Never Forget

"Back in the days of Mandy"
"You dance in the star ballerina's place, ballerina's place, ballerina's place..."
Allan painting the brand new bathroom gold
"Everybody's got a hungry heart"
Bullwhips, a guitar, a stuffed iguana and Freddy and Freida Frog puppets are all things that Dad brought home from NYC
"Wiggy"
Shrimp Chow Mein (gross)
"Want a cup of coffee?"
"I don't care."

Things My Dogs Have Eaten

These two characters should have their own Blog. Pepper is the goofy one who is always in trouble. Gus is the straight dog who once caused some trouble back in his puppy days. My guess is that Gus tries to talk Peep out of getting into places she doesn't belong. Apparently, Pep thinks the punishment is worth the crime. Stay tuned.......


The other night, I discovered that Little Miss Pepper can get ONTO the kitchen counter.  I think Gus is involved and is given half the booty.  I can picture Gus lacing his paws together to give Peep her initial boost and then pushing her butt up while leaning against the cabinets.  Then Gus runs into the living room and peeps out the window with binoculars to make sure the coast is clear. 


The dog's Cirque de Soleil acrobatics would explain why the tomato went missing and there was a bite taken out of a peach a few weeks ago.  It would also explain how she got the banana out of a bowl that was about 1 1/2 feet from the edge and why half the peel was left on the counter. This time she ate a green pot scrubber, opened one of the dog treat canisters and ate about 4 Greenies.  There is also a yellow Handiwipe missing from the sink.  During the binge, Pepper also removed a plastic Popeye bowl from the sink because I think she needed something to drink.  

Pepper has successfully opened the cabinet door where the trash is stored.  She then figured out how to unlatch a squeeze together baby lock and then a push-down baby lock.  Her next trick was popping up a hook and eye and then unraveling the rubberband that held it closed.  Now there is a hook and eye on the cabinet with a locking mechanism on it.  She realized that she can sometimes pull the hook out of the wood.  She's a genius.


If anyone has a Nanny Cam, I'd love to set it up and make them a YouTube sensation!




Gus, The Little Brown Dog, has eaten the following:


1lb grated parmigiano reggiano




Pepper, The Little Beast, has eaten or chomped on the following:


A half a bag of Chick Peas
A box of Sno Caps (chocolate is very bad for dogs)
3/4 lb cottage cheese
Tea Bags
A brand new pair Naya light brown suede shoes (chomped on)
Sweater and shirts (chomped on while jumping)
Toilet paper
napkins and other paper products
1/2 of a boot box, shoe boxes and other types of cardboard
greeting cards
magazines
rubber dog toys
Wild Cherries
Gum (she likes to chew it)
Candy
flowers
dirt
poop (her's and Gus's - gag)
Q-Tips and other bathroom trash
Vegetable peelings - potatoes, carrots, etc
Tin Foil
Saran Wrap
Egg shells
Anything that falls on the floor
Sour crab apples
Burt's Bees papaya lip balm
Stuff she's taken out of my purses
Food on the table if I forget to push in the chair
Bill's pizza
5 Ravioli with sauce
The sweeper part of the vacuum
Dead birds
a yellow handiwipe
a plastic bowl from caffe laguna
a green scrubbing pad
a banana
a tomato
half a peach
Caps from plastic bottles
Orange juice containers
about a pound of old Halloween chocolate  (1st expensive vet bill)
dryer sheets
uncooked orzo and pastina
a couple of plastic dog toys
3/4 lb cottage cheese
the fuzz off 2 mini tennis balls
bit holes through 2 tin cans
about a dozen butternut squash ravioli
2 pears
Lemonheads
a bag of M&Ms
a sandwich bag of cashews & almonds (2nd major vet bill)
plastic lids for open cans
more chocolate = sick tummy AGAIN
bagels that were meant for my breakfast date
cat poop (gross)
anything that she pulls out of the garbage
plastic forks and sporks
whatever is in the kitchen sink

Funny Things I've Recently Heard

"Jersey shore called and they want their shirts back."

"And all my pink parts are clean."

"Did you get happy?"

Question:   "Do you know who Melody Gardot is?"
Answer:     "Yes, I'm really into actors and movies."
Comment:  "She's not an actor, she's a jazz singer."
Reply:        "What's her name again?"

"I was hoping you'd take my shirt home."
"Why"
"So you could smell me when you're not here."
(Note: sweaty gym socks is not something I want to smell at any time.)

Her: "You fat.  An I ain't neva tell no one theys fat."
Me:  "Yeah, but I'm still a sexy bitch."

Witty Things I've Said Today 09/10/10

She goes through men like a kid goes through popsicles on a hot day.

Witty Things I've Said Today 09/08/10

"You're like an oak tree - shady


"Swapping BB Pin Numbers is like internet 2nd base - under the shirt"


"If I did a cartwheel now, I'd break my arms."


"Puma - the softer, more youthful version of the Cougar."

Witty Words by Me 09/07/10

Skinny Guys Suck!


I'm in 3D, so don't forget your glasses


Who doesn't love potato filled dough?  Gnocci is the zeppoli of pasta.


Real boobs rule!