I recently went on a date with a guy who said that he was 5'8" in his dating profile. Normally, that would mean he was 5'6". He was more like 5'4". Why do men do that? Did he think I wouldn't notice that he was at least an inch shorter than me?!
I will call him Ledge.
Ledge sent me an email that read like this: "You're yummy. Can I have you?" It made me laugh but I didn't answer him for a week or so. He had a nice smile, complete with dimples. Out of boredom one afternoon, I answered his email and we started to chat a bit. He sells advertising for an ethnic website, which is kind of funny because he likes white chicks. I was intrigued. Ledge kept calling me "Baby" and stuff like that which somewhat put me off but I wrote it off as part of his gregarious personality.
Ledge and I decided to meet for drinks. I decided to wear a dark blue, a-line jean dress, with red print tights and my burgandy John Fluevog Bondgirl boots. I covered it with my black Boden raincoat. My hair was cute and curly. I took the LIRR into the City. When I arrived, I text him that I was on my way over to the W Hotel on Broadway. He worked nearby and told me that he was wearing a grey suit (at first I thought he said "Green" - yipes!!). I said that I had on red boots. As I got closer to the hotel, I saw him and noticed that he was definitely NOT 5'8". When I stood next to him, I knew that he wasn't even 5'6" - like he said he was in a text when he asked me not to wear heels. He should've invested in a pair of lifts or something.
Ledge seemed pleasant enough, so we went upstairs to the Atrium Lounge which was funky and had a nice crowd. There were white leather couches and chairs in groups around the room and a few private areas off to the side. We found a spot towards the back of the bar and we got settled. He sat in a chair and I on the couch. There was a menu of drinks on the table but he told me that he knew what he wanted - a Strawberry Martini. Really?!! I said that I was going to have club soda because I don't imbibe. He kept trying to push fruit juice on me! Weird. When the waitress came over, we ordered our beverages of choice. A few minutes later, she was back to say that they didn't have the strawberry vodka and gave him several other choices. Ledge picked an Apple Martini. Really?! Then he asked her about fruit juices and was trying to push them on me again!!
Ledge and I chatted about a multitude of subjects and, of course, he asked me a bunch of questions about my job. Then he went on about his job and his endeavors, which were actually pretty interesting. The date was comfortable but I knew that I wasn't at all interested in seeing him again but the conversation was pleasant enough, so I stayed. Besides, I had nothing else to do on a Monday night, so we chatted on and on.
I kind of noticed something weird about Ledge in the first 30 minutes or so. He seemed to moved his jaw in a slightly strange way but I just wrote that off because his lower jaw was slightly more forward than normal. Ledge and I ordered a couple more drinks and he moved onto the couch with me. I wasn't thrilled about it but I kept enough distance between us so that I didn't give him the "Kiss me" vibe.
Ledge seemed to be a little tipsy but it wasn't annoying at this point, so we chatted some more. I got up to use the Ladies Room and when I got inside I was bummed that I forgot my phone in my coat pocket. I needed to update my girls!! When I returned, he excused himself and went to the Men's Room, which provided me with the opportunity to tell my girls how short Ledge was. My texts were met with "Hahaha" and "Oh no.".
Ledge returned and he sat back on the couch with me. He seemed a bit more fidgety than before and I wanted to go but I couldn't figure out how to politely end our date. I have such an issue with that! We decided to go to grab some dinner and went to a place called Latitude 90 or something like that. He said it was great and that he went there often. By the time we got to the restaurant, he was ultra jittery and slurring his words. He jaw was swinging like a Saloon door in the Wild West. He kept rubbing his face and his little pink tongue kept darting out of his mouth which totally disgusted me. We ordered dinner and I prayed that the food would be out quickly because I was now anxious to end this date.
Our meal quickly arrived and Ledge proceeded to put some orange mayo concoction on his burger and then took a big bite. He chomped down, the burger split open, a piece of bacon popped out and ended up between his teeth. Orange mayo was on his face and hands. I was pretty grossed out by this point and basically done with my dinner - and the date. Ledge gabbed on and on and then mentioned how he couldn't wait to go out again and how he wanted to travel with me. He told me that he's going to fall in love with me and wondered if I was going to fall in love with him!! Seriously?!!
Finally, the bill came, Ledge paid it and we were out the door. Unfortunately, he felt the need to walk me to Penn Station. On the way, he asked me more annoying questions about my job and made inappropriate comments about it. We finally got to Penn Station and he, ugh, gave me a hug and tried to give me a lip kiss good bye. I was quick to avoid such a horrific event. I missed the train so I had to wait for about an hour for the next one. I saw two friends and I was able to give them a quick run-down of my date and have a few laughs.
One final question: Did Ledge think I didn't notice that he did cocaine in the bathroom?
