A couple of months later, I received an email from this chap and he apologized for not getting back to me sooner. He just started a new job and he wanted to focus on it. Understandable, not an issue, so I answered him. We exchanged about a dozen emails and decided to meet. He said that we’d get along like peas and carrots. I replied, “I like peas and carrots, so these reasons:
1. I didn't want to waste precious brain cells communicating with someone for weeks who may turn out to be a dud. I hate when that happens
2. I like to take off work even if it's for the lamest reason
3. If he's "the one", I wanted to start dating him asap to get him off the market
The Actor and I discussed what options we had available to us. We had a big laugh because we'd both gone on dates to Rudy's in Hell's Kitchen. (See "Date With The Yellow Hat"). In all his brilliance, this fella picked a Saturday night, AT 7pm, IN the Spring, IN the heart of the Theatre District, IN Midtown Manhattan. Not my first choice since everything in the neighborhood is packed with theater-goers and tourists. Shouldn't a seasoned actor know these things?
Regardless of his poor choice, I got casually dolled up in bootcut jeans, a white button down shirt, a yellow sweater and an adorable pair of green and brown suede shoes with an ankle strap by Fly London. I topped it off with my light blue ¾ length Boden wool coat and carried my Louis Vuitton purse which contained a pair of green Converse All Stars (in case of pain).
I ran (as usual) to catch the LIRR and headed into The Big City for my date with The Actor. He has a really funny name but I don't think it would be a good idea to mention it because I'm sure I'll get sued or something stupid like that.
At 7pm, I was standing somewhere in the 40s by 8th Avenue. Broadway shows generally begin at 8pm, so the streets were pretty crowded. He text me while I was on the LIRR to say that there was a
different schedule for the subway he took, so he’d be there a little late. Not a problem for me to wait for my
future boyfriend.
I stood outside in the cool Spring air, near the brick over
pizza place we had decided on and we sent texts back and forth about his progress from
Brooklyn. I was kind of excited to meet him because his pictures were kind
of cute and he had a nice voice with a slight Texas accent. His profile said that he was 5’11” and
had a few extra pounds. He said that he had a regular gig on a tv series but held a
steady 9 to 5 job to pay the bills. He wasn’t a very
busy actor but the business is tough, so I gave him some slack. I was actually more interested in his stuntman
career since I have the habit of performing stunts without my own prior knowledge.
The Actor let me know that he finally got out of the subway and was walking towards me. We joked about him being several different people and that I was the tall transvestite on the corner. I looked eastbound and saw The Actor approaching me. My first thought
was “He’s not 5’11” and he’s has a little bit more than a ‘few pounds”. He obviously ran as much (or as little) as I did. Both aren’t deal breakers but he should
face reality and get his height and weight checked on his next visit to the
doctor. Talent scouts notice that sort of thing, don't they? As he got closer, I was, however, able to
see that he was not my type just by his attire. He wore jeans which were eh, a loud, long sleeve black and white
print shirt, a pair of black dress shoes (with jeans?)
and a long lightweight coat in a maroon/black marble print. I’m not a fan of long coats on guys,
especially when it’s a little shiny.
I decided to suck it up and keep an open mind because maybe
he was a nice guy despite his outdated look. Besides, I had nothing else to do. There was a bit of a wait for a table (10 or 15 minutes) and
he asked me if I wanted to sit at the bar to wait and I agreed. On the way, he took it upon himself to decide
that we’d sit at the bar and order food. This was more of a service bar than seating for a first date. He kept his coat on and barely faced me as he sat. The Actor asked me if I liked pepperoni and I said “No. But
I’m sure there are some interesting things on the menu.” Helloooo – a pepperoni pizza at a brick oven pizza place? Boring and
cheesy. We ordered a small
pie with mushrooms and black olives which he ate as though he was on his way to "the chair'.
I got a soda and he ordered water.
He commented about how great it was that I don’t drink because bottles of wine were $30 and up. He asked me if my purse was real. As if I'd carry a knock-off from Canal St. We sat and looked around one too many times. For some reason this guy, who was pretty chatty online and on the telephone, suddenly lost his tongue. It took
a concerted effort for me to have a conversation with him. Believe it or not, I was running out
of subjects to discuss. We ordered another
pizza and, again, I watched him wolf it down with no manners
whatsoever. The busboy placed
someone’s used breadbasket next to him to discard. He took a piece of bread and spread
some butter on it. Really? I was praying to the gods that the staff realized that this was a first AND last date.
The
bartender placed the bill on the bar. “Finally”, I thought, “this date is wrapping up and I can get home and into bed.” The Actor opened the folder up while I wasn't paying attention and saw the damage - a whopping $32.00. He then started to "act" distracted by turning and looking away from the bar. I got the feeling that he wanted to split the bill and I wanted to leave, so I said "How much do I ..." but before I said "owe" he quickly answered "20 dollars." Damn, if I knew he was so broke, I would've payed the whole bill.
We made our way onto the street and I said that I was getting tired because I'd worked the night before. He seemed to ignore me and he basically dragged me to 42nd St., to the movie theaters. I was tired, my feet were hurting and I wanted to go home. He was so not blister-worthy and I had no desire to sit in a theater with him for the following three reasons:
1. I can't stand movie theaters,
2. all of the movies sucked as far as I was concerned and
3. I did not want to spend anymore time with this cheap bastard.
Finally, I spoke a little bit louder and said "I'm really tired and I'm going to head home." He said, "Okay. I guess it doesn't make sense to pay $13 for a movie when you're going to fall asleep in it. There's a subway around the corner." He failed to notice the one in front of us and ignored me pointing out the closer, less painful route. Fortunately, I had my Metrocard out because he darted down the stairs ahead of me and went through the turnstile without giving me a swipe. On the second set of stairs, he did the same thing as a train was approaching. He told me to hurry. I was hoping he would get on it before the doors closed. Grumble. He did not. So we stood there awkwardly and I said "It's ok. There will be another one soon." On the platform, he saw a girl that he used to work with and pointed her out. I looked in her direction but made no effort to see who he was talking about. "Huh," I said, "small world."
Happily a train pulled into the station but, alack, we sat there for a good 5 minutes with the doors open and made annoying small talk. Suddenly, The Actor said, "I'm going to go say 'Hi!' to my friend." For some reason kissed me on the cheek and said "It was nice to meet you." before rudely leaving the car that I was standing in - ON 42nd Street, IN NYC, AT 11:00pm. What a gentleman! I looked at the young cop who was watching this unfold and I said "What a douche."
When I got off the Subway, my feet were blistered and hurt so badly. I remembered that I had my Chucks in my purse, so I decided to make a switch. As I struggled to unbuckle the second shoe, a strange guy walked by and said "Nice shoes. Are they Gucci." I politely smiled and said "No. Fly London." Gucci?!! Even if I was able to afford Gucci shoes, they are definitely not my style.
Two weeks later, I got an email from The Actor. I thought "Hmmmm. Strange. This should be interesting." I opened the email and it said "Hi, I enjoyed meeting you but I've met someone else. We've had a couple of dates and I want to see how it ends up." Really?!!!!
Incidentally, the big stuntman role he had was running his fat ass naked down a street. Stuntman, my ass. I do more stunts walking down a staircase in the snow.
1. I can't stand movie theaters,
2. all of the movies sucked as far as I was concerned and
3. I did not want to spend anymore time with this cheap bastard.
Finally, I spoke a little bit louder and said "I'm really tired and I'm going to head home." He said, "Okay. I guess it doesn't make sense to pay $13 for a movie when you're going to fall asleep in it. There's a subway around the corner." He failed to notice the one in front of us and ignored me pointing out the closer, less painful route. Fortunately, I had my Metrocard out because he darted down the stairs ahead of me and went through the turnstile without giving me a swipe. On the second set of stairs, he did the same thing as a train was approaching. He told me to hurry. I was hoping he would get on it before the doors closed. Grumble. He did not. So we stood there awkwardly and I said "It's ok. There will be another one soon." On the platform, he saw a girl that he used to work with and pointed her out. I looked in her direction but made no effort to see who he was talking about. "Huh," I said, "small world."
Happily a train pulled into the station but, alack, we sat there for a good 5 minutes with the doors open and made annoying small talk. Suddenly, The Actor said, "I'm going to go say 'Hi!' to my friend." For some reason kissed me on the cheek and said "It was nice to meet you." before rudely leaving the car that I was standing in - ON 42nd Street, IN NYC, AT 11:00pm. What a gentleman! I looked at the young cop who was watching this unfold and I said "What a douche."
When I got off the Subway, my feet were blistered and hurt so badly. I remembered that I had my Chucks in my purse, so I decided to make a switch. As I struggled to unbuckle the second shoe, a strange guy walked by and said "Nice shoes. Are they Gucci." I politely smiled and said "No. Fly London." Gucci?!! Even if I was able to afford Gucci shoes, they are definitely not my style.
Two weeks later, I got an email from The Actor. I thought "Hmmmm. Strange. This should be interesting." I opened the email and it said "Hi, I enjoyed meeting you but I've met someone else. We've had a couple of dates and I want to see how it ends up." Really?!!!!
Incidentally, the big stuntman role he had was running his fat ass naked down a street. Stuntman, my ass. I do more stunts walking down a staircase in the snow.
