"What?" I feel that's what I said a lot when I went on my first date ever with a deaf guy. I kind of thought it would be the other way around.
I will call him The Teacher.
When I first saw The Teacher's very expressive pictures online, I said to myself "Look at this clown. What a party guy. As if I'd ever go out with him.". Click. Click. He was gone like that. A day or so later, I got a "Wink" from him. I hate "Winks", so I called him a tool. A little while after the "Wink", he sent me a very short email - something like "Hey. How are you?". I said "Really? That's it? Can't he be a little more creative?" At that point, I clicked on his silly name and read his profile. I soon discovered that there was a reason he was so expressive. He was deaf. He was also a teacher and a coach at a school for the deaf. "How interesting.", I thought, so I, being an equal opportunity dater, replied.
A bunch of emails led to instant messaging, which then led to us to exchanging phone numbers. The Teacher and I soon got to the point of texting each other all day long. He even text me while he was on vacation. We discussed family, friends, work and hobbies. I learned that he was not only a teacher and a coach but also a referee for deaf and hearing games. I asked him what his response was to fans who yelled out "Ref, are you blind?" I only know of one really bad word in sign language, so this was going to be tough. But at least I knew that if things got bad, I could give him the finger and he would definitely understand me.
Tonight finally arrived and I got all dolled up for Meet the Teacher Night. Due to the great weather, my normally wild and frizzy hair was pin straight, I wore dark clothes which allegedly made me look thinner and rocked my distressed black Steven Heathrow Biker Boots. I was off to a good, no great, start. We decided to meet at an arcade center and, considering my lack of coordination for such things, I knew that if I wasn't funny, I would at least be funny to watch
The Teacher and I began our date with a drink at the bar. The water went down smooth. It was during this time that I sadly discovered The Teacher's speech was difficult to understand - I (we?) had a hard time communicating. I kept leaning in, saying "I'm sorry?" and "What?". First dates are difficult enough for me, but throw deafness into the mix and, POW!, I, surprisingly, was at a loss for words. My brain seemed to freeze up like a deer in the night staring into highbeams. I said "What?" so many times that I started to feel uneasy but I'm pretty confident that at one point he told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. I didn't have to ask him twice about that or when he said I looked hot. I found it hard to have a simple conversation because I couldn't hear him enough to understand him. "What?" Grrrrr. I was so frustrated because I thought he was as cute as pie and I liked him (so far). I really wanted to know more about him, so it was a huge bummer not being able to chat. Once again, "What?".
The Teacher and I walked out of the bar, I tripped off the last step and we meandered over to Trivia. Although I am not very sure-footed, I was quite confident that I had a lot of smarts in this brain of mine. I read the categories and, since he can't hear and I love to sing out loud in the car, I really thought I'd have him beat when it came to "Music". When the first spin landed on none other than "Music", he laughed. I feverishly rubbed my hands together, tilted my head back so he couldn't read my lips and in an evil voice I said, "Mwahahahaha. This game is all mine." Well.....wrong I was. It seems I need to brush up on current music because I don't know Linken Park from Zucotti Park nor do I know any Top 40 music from this century. The teacher beat me at each game. Blast him!!!
The Teacher and I (happily) left Trivia and went on to Skeeball (my favorite amusement game of all time next to Pinball). Game on!! I'd beat this bastard for sure. As the daughter of a Rockaway Girl, Skeeball was in my blood. I was born with Skeeball skills. This was in the bag. I was going to win. Well, apparently, I need a woodchip transfusion because The Teacher kicked my ass again. As we walked away, I silently wondered if there was a Wooden Ball Drive coming up anytime soon?
The Teacher/Basketball Coach challenged me to Basketball. Really? That's like me challenging him to Karaoke. After he whooped me at hoops, I was reminded a few more times that I really suck at arcade games. I also found out that the world is a safer place because I don't race cars for a living. I crashed so many times driving the Nascar simulator that I should've been airlifted to NUMC with virtual brain damage. The best part of the night was that The Teacher didn't challenge me to any games with firearms. For that I am truly happy because had I lost at deer hunting or Rambo, I would've had to hang my head in shame and retire from my job in Law Enforcement.
My date with The Teacher came to an abrupt end when his pre-paid game card ran out of money and we wandered around one too many times. We tried to figure out what to do next but I really didn't know what to do after embarrassing myself so much playing arcade games. It would've been too suggestive (slutty) for me to ask him to come to my place since it was a 20 minute drive south of where we were, so I didn't ask him over for tea. We stood in the parking lot kind of staring at each other for a few minutes because we had nothing to say. Eventually, we said "Good night.", hugged and pecked each other on the cheek. I so wanted to make out with him....and he was lucky they didn't have Pinball.
Update:
We text each other for a few days after the date. I thought things were going well. When I said that I wish I knew ASL, he told me that I could learn it. I thought that was a good sign. We weren't texting like mad like we did before the date but I wrote that off because we were both back to work. One evening, we were texting and joking around. He told me that I seemed very frisky and I replied that I tend to be that way. (Before the date, I'd been laughing off his comments about sex because I didn't want to appear slutty.) So now, I figured that we'd met and I could be a little more risque, so I added "I love sex and if an adult can't admit that, there's something wrong." He laughed and said that was "Awesome." The rest of the text conversation was like this:
me: Um, I wanted to kiss you on Sunday.
him: Why didn't you?
me: I didn't know if you would kiss me back.
him: I would have
me: [jokingly] Did you want to? ;)
[the sounds of crickets followed]
And that was the end of The Teacher.
