I live with chronic pain. No, I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's real pain and I guess it's payback because of my childhood behavior. But I don't think I was bad enough to be blessed with feeling like I have the flu on most days. You know that pain, right? Like a truck ran you over and then backed up to do it again. It's as though I ran 10 miles and got the crap beat out of me at the finish line. Aching muscles and feeling bruised.
Waking up is always a blast. I look more like an 89 year old than a once fit 49 year old whose job sometimes requires strength and endurance. My dogs start to whine at about 7am, if I'm lucky. After a night of tossing and turning to find the right position, I whine back. Sleeping straight through the night, or for a good few hours, is a mixed blessing to those of us with invisible illnesses. Yes, it's nice to see you slept for more than a few hours but with every hour of actual sleep, another body part stiffens up. With my eyes closed, I assess my physical being. A typical morning usually goes like this:
Left leg has pins & needles,
Left hand the same but with pain so bad it's as though Freeze Meister has taken up residence in my bones.
Headache or no headache? Is it weather related or from grinding my teeth?
My back is so stiff that I think I have a Plaster of Paris cast on my torso.
Arms up - Crack. Crack. Crack. Pop. Ahhh
Swing legs to the side of the bed. They weighlike 600lbs.....Each.
I roll on to my stomach and slither off my very high bed.
Ouch. I forgot my foot is still asleep.
Slippers on. I push myself up (half way). As I walk into the kitchen, my posture improves like that human evolution picture. Ugh. My hip.
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