Brains and Eggs

This was an essay I wrote when I was enrolled at Nassau Community College in the mid-1980s.  The assignment was to take a recipe and write about the experience. I didn't exactly follow the rules but I did write a convincing tale.


Brains and Eggs:

People often search for new adventures to carry them through life.  I yearned for an adventure in dining.  Yet, deep within, I wondered if I could stomach it.  I decided it was time to be daring, so I went to my small bookcase.

Cautiously, I peered through gourment cookbooks.  Each had something very different to offer. My search ended between the bindings of an ancient orange Betty Crocker Cookbook.  I stared hesitantly at a recipe for brains.  This would be my first experiment with new foods.

Unfortunately, I did not have any on hand, so I ventureed to the meat market.  I was going to get a pound, thinking that no one can have too many brains, but I settled for a half since it was only for me.  They were quickly wrapped and paid for.  I conquered my first battle.

My kitchen was my laboratory.  Measuring cups posed as beakers just as the pots and pans were my test tubes.  I put on my lab coat and began experimenting.

I flushed all of the useless fragments from the main parts of the brains.  I then submerged them into my potion of water, salt and lemon juice, which boiled feverishly.

After waiting the longest twenty minutes of my life, I plunged the steaming brains into cold water.  With the skill of a surgeon, I removed the membrane with my razor sharp knife and proceeded to dice the brains into bite-size morsals.

To add flavor to this dish, I scrambled them with two eggs.  The mixture was not very appetizing since, as usual, the eggs burnt.  I put a couple of tablespoons of it on my plate and added some salt and pepper for flavor.

Hesitantly, I fished for the smallest piece of brain and the largest piece of egg.  With my hand shaking, I closed my eyes tightly and sampled it.  I swallowed quickly.  There was a soft, tender and delicate flavor hidden under the charcoal eggs.

Just as I opened my eyes, I realized that I was eating brains.  Suddenly, I jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

My adventures in dining ended there and my dog ate terrifically for a day.